"You're doing great." "Keep it up." "Maybe be a little more strategic." Feedback like this feels pleasant, or puzzling, but it rarely tells you what to do next.
In a 2016 Harvard Business Review article, Stanford researchers Shelley Correll and Caroline Simard reported on their analysis of written performance reviews at three technology companies and a professional services firm. They found that women were less likely than men to receive specific feedback tied to business outcomes. That's one set of organizations, not every workplace, but it matches what many women describe. Vague feedback is hard to act on, and it can quietly slow advancement. You can't control how your manager was trained to give feedback. You can change the quality of what you get by how you ask, and you can build a process that makes progress visible.
Specific feedback is a gift. When it isn't offered, ask for it.
Why feedback stays vague
- People avoid discomfort. Honest critique feels risky, so many managers soften it until it means little.
- Busy managers default to generalities. Specifics take time and thought.
- Unclear expectations. If success isn't defined, feedback can't be measured against it.
- The question invites it. "Any feedback?" almost guarantees "No, you're doing great."
The feedback cycle
Treat feedback as a cycle you lead, not an event that happens to you.
- Request a specific example. "Can you point me to a moment where I could have done this differently?"
- Understand the behavior and its impact. What did they observe, and what effect did it have?
- Clarify what good looks like. "What would you see if I were doing this well?"
- Agree on one or two actions. Not ten. One or two you can actually demonstrate.
- Set a review date. Four to eight weeks is often enough to show change.
- Assess the change together. Have expectations been met? Has anything about how your work is seen shifted?
Ask better questions
Specific questions get specific answers.
- "What's one thing I could do differently to be more effective?"
- "What would make my next presentation even stronger?"
- "What's one skill that would make the biggest difference for me in the next six months?"
"If I were operating at the next level, what would you see me doing that I'm not doing now? Could you point to someone at that level, or a moment, that shows what you mean?"
"I'd really value honest feedback, even if it's uncomfortable. I'd much rather hear it from you now than be surprised later."
Turn vague feedback into specifics
When you hear something general, don't guess what it means. Ask follow-up questions until it becomes observable.
"You need to be more strategic."
"Can you give me an example of when I could have been more strategic? What would that have looked like?"
- "What would I be doing differently if I improved on this?"
- "Who does this well, so I can learn from them?"
- "How will we know I've made progress?"
Sort what you hear
Not all feedback is equally useful. Repetition alone doesn't make it fair: several people can share the same bias or the same unclear expectation. And specificity alone doesn't make it accurate: a detailed comment can still be based on one moment, partial information, or a preference. Sort each piece before acting on it.
| Type | What it sounds like | What to do |
|---|---|---|
| Observable behavior | "You moved to solutions before the client finished explaining the problem." | Act on it. Agree on what to change and review it. |
| Unclear expectation | "Be more visible." | Ask what it would look like, and who should see what. |
| Opinion or style preference | "I'd have done it differently." | Weigh it against results. Adopt it if it helps. |
| Possible bias | "Too aggressive," "not a culture fit," with no examples | Ask for specific examples. Look for patterns and whether it's applied consistently. |
If feedback focuses on personality, tone, or likability rather than behavior and results, it's fair to ask for examples and to weigh it accordingly. If you see a consistent pattern of feedback that seems tied to bias, keep a record and consider talking with a trusted leader or HR.
Receive it well
- Listen fully before responding. Resist explaining or defending.
- Thank them, even when it stings.
- Ask a clarifying question to make sure you understand.
- Take time to reflect before deciding what to do.
"Thank you for telling me. That's helpful. Can you say a little more about what you noticed? I want to make sure I understand."
A worked example
Rachel, a senior consultant, hears in her review that she should "show more executive presence." She asks for an example. Her manager mentions a client meeting where she answered a question with a lot of detail but no recommendation.
They agree on one action: open client updates with a recommendation and three supporting points, then offer detail. She sets a review in six weeks.
She logs each client meeting. At the review, her manager says two partners have commented on her clear recommendations. The vague label became one observable behavior, and she has the evidence that it changed.
Rachel is an illustration, not a real client.
How you'll know it's working
- Feedback you receive becomes more specific over time.
- You can state, in a sentence, what next-level performance looks like in your role.
- At review dates, your manager can point to examples of change.
- Your record shows actions agreed and progress made.
Plan B: when the feedback doesn't come
Some managers can't give clear feedback, keep changing the criteria, or withhold useful information. That isn't something you can fix with a better question alone.
- Write it down. Send a recap after each feedback conversation: "Here's what I heard and what I'll do." If criteria change, your record shows when and how. Keep recaps factual and collaborative in tone, and follow your company's policies on where you keep work notes.
- Name the change, calmly. "In March we agreed the priority was X. It now sounds like Y. Can we confirm which matters most?"
- Widen your sources: peers, stakeholders, a skip-level conversation, or a mentor who knows the role.
- Notice the pattern. If useful feedback stays out of reach for months, that's information for your longer-term decisions.
Before your next one-on-one, write down one piece of feedback you've received but can't yet act on. That's your first question.
Managing up: Making your manager your ally
If your manager can't or won't give clear feedback, the next skill is shaping how you work together.
CONTINUE →